Grand Finale

After the household crime spree, Sheriff Woody arrests the creepy elf.

The creepy elf has a right to an attorney. Unfortunately, even the lawyer is creeped out by the elf on a shelf.

Justice is served! The creepy elf is sentenced to one year solitary confinement in a maximum security cardboard box. The creepy elf struggles fruitlessly agains the combined might of Superman and Batman, while a heartbroken Barbie looks on, silently wondering why she always falls for bad men. The creepy elf shall be sealed inside the box, and buried amongst all the other Christmas crap in the basement, where he will await his eventual release next holiday season.

Unless the basement floods. Then his soggy little ass is getting thrown away.

Merry Christmas everybody! We hope the creepy elf has brought some joy to your holiday season.

Playing Doctor

After his recent bender, the creepy elf convinced Barbie to play "doctor." Oh Barbie, you fool.

The Perils of Blogging

Last night, I synced my 4-year-old's iPod as we were getting ready for bath time. (Of course the 4-year-old has an iPod. Don't judge. I can't tell you how much peace that thing has brought us.)

The problem? It seems that I left my photo organization software open on the desktop. Even though they were merely tiny thumbnails, the 4-year-old has eagle vision, and she spied some of the photographs featured on this very blog. Let's recap what she said:

"Look, there's a picture of Barbie."

"And the elf!"

"And they are in my Barbie house!!!"

"And they are on the bed! Tee-hee!"

CLICK CLICK CLICK. Close down damn program!

Despite all evidence to the contrary, I swear that we aren't bad parents.

Dirty Movies

Creepy Elf: "Hey baby, I can make you a star."
Barbie: "Really?"

Oh Barbie, you just fell for the oldest trick in the book!

Barbie, again

Oh Barbie. I expected that from Bratz, but not you.

Barbie

Creepy Elf on the Shelf is now corrupting Barbie.  Great!